Dear Darling Children,

It is perfectly acceptable to like Barbie.  Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

It has been my experience that those who dislike Barbie don’t read fine print or understand the world.  They complain about toys and how they’re messing with our babies minds because they don’t realize that the real problem for our children involves the ozone, social security and possibly the fallout from a potential Donald Trump presidency (but who really knows, what a wild card, politics has never been so entertaining, BREAK OUT THE POPCORN!).

If someone tells you they hate Barbie because she gives people unrealistic expectations of what a woman should look like, just slap the donut out of that person’s hand and let them know that Superheroes & My Little Pony are FAR more unrealistic.

Mention how they shouldn’t let toys dictate their self worth.

It’s a DOLL!

Scream that in their face.

“A DOLL! IT’S JUST A DOLL!”

After your fit, if they haven’t run away from you yet and you care at all about salvaging the friendship, try to fester out the underlying problem.

Then go save the world, one real problem at a time.

Kisses,

Mother