After deciding that he wanted to make his father custom mini-figures for his birthday present, 5 year old Harrison put together somewhat normal looking figures…with intense back stories…
Me: So…what’s this guy’s story?
Harrison: He’s a warrior…and he uses a bow and arrow that was his brother’s because his brother got kidnapped. He wears his hair like his kidnapped brother now because he misses him and has been searching for him for YEARS but the bad guys have him hidden. So his name is, “Warrior Guy Who Got His Brother Stolen And Now He’s Looking For Him And He Uses His Bow”.
Me: Why doesn’t this guy have arms?
Harrison: He isn’t a guy, he’s Slimer from the Ghostbusters movie. He has the cat because he eats cats because he hates them. Only he doesn’t eat the cat like WE would eat the cat (side note: we don’t eat cats in this family) he just kind of gobbles him up in all the slime. So his name is, “Slimer From The Ghostbusters Movie Who Eats Cats Because He Hates Them”.
Me: (a little creeped out by the cat bit)…okay…I guess I can see that…
Me: This guy?
Harrison: MOM! He’s a scientist…and when he isn’t doing experiments he dresses up like Darth Vader.
Me: Hm. He’s for sure my favorite. So…is his name, like, “The Scientist Who Cosplays As Darth Vader In His Downtime”?
Harrison: Mom. Stop. He’s just a scientist!
Me:…um…who cosplays as Darth Vader on the down low, so we’re using my name. Next, son.
Me: Who’s this guy with the shirt and the cuffs?
Harrison: “Rockstar Dancer Who Got Arrested For Dancing Too Much”.
Me:…where was he dancing…?
Me: So…a king?
Harrison: Yeah. “King Guy”.
Me: Really? That’s it? “King Guy”?
Harrison: MOM! Geez. Fine. “King Guy Who Wears A Big Crown And Can’t See Good Because The Crown Is In His Eyes And He Sometimes Falls On His Sword”.
Harrison: A SAMURAI, not a NINJA.
Me: He’s holding a club…
Harrison: THAT’S because he got his sword stolen when bad guys came and killed his father, so he uses a club like a caveman until he can kill all the bad guys and get his sword back.
Me: Intense. So…is HIS name, “Vengeful Samurai Who Uses A Club Because His Sword Was Stolen By Evil Father Killers”?
Harrison: I guess. Can I have fruit chews now?
Me: Sure, kid.
Happy Birthday, Dad.
Your Highly Imaginative & Creative Son