Hobbies, Work & Motherhood

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My life does not consist of just making waffles one right after the other because the first one is too soft and the next is too hard and then when I finally get the waffle at the perfect consistency the child waits too long to eat it and it becomes too “crunchy, like a leaf”.

I also run Redbird Vintage Box, a vintage clothing & accessories styling service (and shop) with my sister and we have some changes and a amazing sale coming up this weekend.

You can check out a few of the past boxes & outfits below.  You can also follow us via Facebook and Instagram to see more and keep up with everything!

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Throw Away the Chips & Put on Some Mascara

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While socializing with Anna & Elsa, my daughter makes sure that even Grumpy Cat makes an effort to not look like a total mess.

One cold, drafty Sunday many years ago I was an enchanting 12 year old wearing a lovely deep blue lace dress and waiting for bible study to start when an awful girl named LeeAnn sauntered up and snarkily asked why I was “SOOOOOO” dressed up.

“For Jesus, LeeAnn. Your ripped jeans and NKOTB t-shirt make him cry. Jerk.”

…is what I wanted to say.

But I didn’t, because even at 12 years old I had class.  I also didn’t have much of a quick wit, so I was stunned into silence, appalled that someone could ask something so rude.  My boyfriend at the time (yes, even at 12 I had admirers) came to my defense and told LeeAnn he thought I was beautiful and gave her a look insinuating that she was not.  He then turned back to me and said something that I have parroted to many people throughout my life:

“I think it’s nice that you always look good.  She’s stupid.”

I suppose I don’t quote EXACTLY what he said since I’m no longer 12. My quote is more like:

“Don’t ever be ashamed to be the best dressed person in the room.  It is far better to be overdressed than underdressed.  Nobody ever throws an overdressed person out of a dining establishment and  you can get away with far more minor crimes if you’re wearing a lovely pair of heels.”

I have been off my A-Game with pulling myself together lately.  Sweatpants have made frequent appearances even though I don’t work out. My hair lives in a ponytail. I’ve worn sneakers with mismatched socks.

I consistently blame this on having 2 children but, honestly…

No, I won’t lie, it really is because of the children.  It is ALL their fault.  They are two of the greatest loves of my life, but they exhaust me to the point of wearing tacky clothing on a fairly consistent basis because I’m too tired to put a decent outfit together.

Today I will begin practicing what I preach to my children.

Darling Children,

*Dress for the life you want, not the life you have.

*Dress for great success, not for mediocrity.  

*Dress like you’re going to randomly see your own LeeAnn in Target and she’ll be wearing knock off Juicy Couture terry clothe pants and a coffee stained white turtleneck and when she sees you wearing a black shift dress with your hair in a trendy bun she’ll think back to the day she tried to fashion shame you and feel immediate regret.

*A single strand of pearls or a tie can make an incredible difference in any ensemble, and you can use both items to choke any muggers who think you’re rich and carrying cash simply because you look lovely. 

I promise, you’ll be shocked at how much better you’ll feel about yourself when you throw the chips away, peel off your sweatpants and put on some mascara.

“The thirst for revenge and fear of random social embarrassment is the greatest motivator in the world of fashion.” -Me

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Even at the always enjoyable young age of 2, my darling daughter has a unique and classy style she likes to call, “Anything But What Mommy Picks Out For Me”.

 

Dear Darling Children: Please Don’t Be Cheap (Round 1: Accessories)

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Photo curtesy of Redbird Vintage Box

Dear Darling Children,

Concerning accessories:

Be unique.

Be daring.

Be classy.

Be willing to spend more than $10.

I once bought a pair of earrings for $5.67.  A pair of little monkeys that I thought would be amusing for a zoo excursion. My ears broke out in a horrifying rash that continued to attack my face for the next month.  After spending $700 at the dermatologist the rash subsided.

I am now too terrified to wear earrings, so don’t ever buy me a pair as a present.

Invest in the proper accessories or risk looking like a vagabond.  A cheap handbag will immediately make you look like a tourist who is trying desperately to fit in while visiting the city of New York.

My advice, follow the 3 V’s:

Vintage, Vuitton & Vogue

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Photo curtesy of Redbird Vintage Box

Vintage:  You typically can’t go wrong with vintage accessories, unless you have terrible taste.

Vuitton:  You typically can’t go wrong with Louis Vuitton, unless you go fake.

Vogue:  You typically can’t go wrong with what Vogue says, at least until Anna Wintour passes away.

As I used to say all the time before meeting your father,

“If you want a gentleman, you must be a lady…if you want a lady, you must be a gentleman.” -Your Mom

That quote obviously applies to more than your appearance, so if you’ve decided to be a swearing, loud mouthed, public cheddar cheese potato chip eating harlot then no amount of classy accessories will help and there is very little I can do for you.

Making smart decisions in life can be difficult, Children, but a decision that should never be too hard is to always buy quality over quantity.  This will not only help you in your outward appearance, but it will also do your soul good to know that you won’t be throwing away your purchases in the near future.  This reduces waste, which helps the environment.

Help save the world, Children. Don’t buy tacky & cheap accessories.

Every little thing helps.

I love you, my little darlings.

Mother